i'm back to blogging here cos i've not got my lazy ass down to creating another account. t

oday i went to return my dvds.. stayed out for what seemed like forever
cos i was alone, at the park. it was dark. people fishing as usual. my parents have gone crazy and
i needed to seek solace from some silence. any silence. and anyone. if any at all. i cried tonight : (

i have so much to be thankful for. a roof over my head is more than what i am worthy of. what have i actually done to make someone else feel better. what, in ages?

i've just completed this book called with lots of love from Georgia. it was beautiful. all the books that accompanied me this holidays were beautiful one way or the other. thanks for the books, God

i have so much to be thankful for. xmas eve dinner was great at anna's with her wonderful family.
we went to the clubs after..
pageant's been huge fun and a good learning experience.
i'm going to join upfront soon when i actually get my ass up
i cant wait for huijie to be back.
and anna has been my ever essential, ever trusting, and great friend all these while.

i'm looking forward to brighter days.

wow lj home says its been 2 wks since i last typed an entry. i thought longer than tht, but it doesnt matter
cos my long time followers IF ANY I MAY SPEAK OF WAHAHA will know i blog hop every now and then
well the first one lasted so damn long until i had to get all itchy fingery and switch cos of a bad breakup and mad ass stalkers in sec sch
the worst breakup ever, imo
but break ups just dont hurt so bad anymore
touch wood of course
but somehow boys they come and go much more often than i can say hey-...
notice i said come and GO
yeah, thats right.. they go too
they leave marks all over the place

anyway i had a depressing moment today thinking xmas is the whole suck
my parents are at the flat and my sisters and i are like strangers in my huge house
but anna invited me to her family xmas thing :)
its quite like traditional i think, hahahhaah im so freaking excited la
ive never been to a proper xmas thing before
and she's so sweet to ask me along
i volunteered to be photographer
and come early to help
im still thinking of what to bring cos i dont wanna go empty handed!

chatted with huijie on the phone for a good hour just now
we never have too little/nothing to talk about srsly
love you lots babe.. got to be strong :)

i cant wait for monday cos it means the end HOPEFULLY, of my boring days...
got a xmas dinner with my mom's friends and their children its an annual thing
theyre fun and i cant wait!!
got smu pageant stuff before tht though..
tuesday too..
its the photoshoot but i wanna like do my own makeup cos im having a mad breakout now
and i won some nokia handset from zoukout so gotta go collect it
my friend's (cant rmbr which) saying like they'll make you take a pic and all so must look good
yeah

my sis and i we jus ordered macs cos our parents arent around!!
havent been running, been eating non stop cos its xmas and i hope the pageant ppl can photoshop heheh

cant wait for all the parties bye bye mc18forever.livejournal.com, you have been my closest friend.
the one i scribbled on.. of love, friendship, family, random things.
you have been a great friend but i have to move on
love

the day i let you go
was the day i lost myself

Going back to the corner,
where I first saw you
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag,
I'm not gonna move
Got some words on cardboard
Got your picture in my hand
Saying "if you see this girl can you tell her where I am"
Some try to hand me money
They don't understand,
I'm not broke I'm just a broken hearted man
I know it makes no sense
What else can I do?
How can I move on
when I'm still in love with you?

Cause' if one day you wake up
and find that your missing me
and your heart starts to wonder
where on this earth I could be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here
to the place that we'd meet
Then you'd see me waiting for you
on the corner of the street,
So I'm not moving
I'm not moving

Policeman says "Son you cant stay here"
I say there's someone I'm waiting for if its a day, a month, a year,
Gotta stand my ground,
even if it rains or snows,
If she changes her mind,
this is the first place she will go

Cause' if one day you wake up
and find that your missing me
and your heart starts to wonder
where on this earth I could be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here
to the place that we'd meet
Then you'd see me waiting for you
on the corner of the street,
So I'm not moving
I'm not moving
I'm not moving
I'm not moving

People talk about the guy,
thats waiting in on a girl
Woooaah -oooh
There are no holes in his shoes,
But a big hole in his world
Oooooh
Maybe I'll get famous for the man who can't be moved,
and maybe you wont mean to but you'll see me on the news,
and you'd come running to the corner,
Cause' you'll know its just for you
I'm the man who can't be moved
I'm the man who cant be moved

Cause' if one day you wake up,
and find that your missing me,
and your heart starts to wonder
where on this earth I could be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here
to the place that we'd meet
and you'd see me waiting for you
on the corner of the street
so I'm not moving
I'm not moving
I'm not moving
I'm not moving
(Cause' if one day you wake up,
and find that your missing me,
and your heart starts to wonder
where on this earth I could be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here
to the place that we'd meet
and you'd see me waiting for you
on the corner of the street)

Going back to the corner where I first saw you,
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag; I'm not gonna move

brilliant lyrics!

* If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want
you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his
behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to
be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find
what makes you truly happy.


* If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you
deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't
mistreat a friend. Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you
along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think "it will get
better". You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when
things are not better.


* The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Avoid men
who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He
didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you
any differently?


* Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain
boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak
up. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within. Don't
EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... Even if he has
more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.


* Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else's man.
If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you. A man will only treat you
the way you ALLOW him to treat you.


* All men are NOT dogs. You should not be the one doing all the
bending... compromise is two way street. You need time to heal between
relationships(c) there is nothing cute about baggage...


* Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...
A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals. Look for someone
complimentary, not supplementary. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't
turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes... When a man always knows where you are,
and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.
Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man. Don't
fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

AND I WILL BE
ALL THT YOU WANT
AND GET MYSELF TOGETHER
COS YOU KEEP ME FROM FALLING APART

AND ALL MY LIFE
YOU KNOW I'LL BE WITH YOU FOREVER
TO GET YOU THROUGH THE DAY
AND MAKE EVERYTHING OKAY

SOON THIS AGONY WILL ALL BE OVER LIJIA
SOON

clara :) im fine , all the best to us tmr <3! talk to you tmr

i just got done with bgs final exam ! yay , this calls for a celebration!
the paper wasnt as tough as i imagined it to be,so thank God
but then i guess it was easy peasy for all the big guys in that room we shared..
do they intimidate me sometimes. i always look at them and think
man they know alot more than me for sure and come exam , thats when i die
but yeah was fine

im really thankful it was 30mcqs and 10 short essays on 10 different topics
im so bad at one big essay kind of exams
cos im bad at structuring my essays and always get criticised VERY BADLY RUN DOWN by teachers in vj
wonder how i got the A for econs and lit but anyway
my thoughts just come out from every part of my brain and is scattered everywhere
today was fine.

yday lightning was so huge ass loud i got a shock!
and then my house wireless got cut off and my dad threw a hissy fit
as usual

i was studying so hard for today and had to endure his noise

anyways,just a thought..
sometimes your best friends turn out to be complete strangers.
i dont mean that there's suddenly a barrier btwn my friends and i,no its not in tht context
its when a stranger knows all your secrets and approaches your problems like he knows it as it is
i dontknow man been having SO MANY far too damn many weird occurances with random strangers these days

the other day i was studying at the expo and this guy approached me
asked me what time the place closes
btw i'm not referring to this encounter or him as the "best friends turn out to be complete strangers" thing
he was 24 (looks 17 to me) and we started chatting cos he asked wht i was studying for yada
and he started to sit down beside me and asked if i wanted to grab dinner tgd
turns out to be this malay guy who plays in a band and knows my mr yuk from
popular peepshow hahaha god i didnt even know the name of his band when he asked bt anyways
yeah he ended up studying beside me for a good 2 hrs and he sent me home

i didnt want to let him send me i mean its beyond reason cos i barely knew him
i kinda trusted him on the fact he had notes on hand which proved he was a student from nus
and like the way he spoke about yuk
ah but anyw he parked damn far like simei and we walked over
its srsly damn far i kept saying its okay you dont have to send me cos obviously i didnt wanna walk so far and
he was a stranger i wasnt interested in being friends with random people
he was damn insistent so he sent me home and asked me for my contact after that which i gave
my hotmail LOL

i am very freaked out despite how i managed to type that thing above in a relatively calm manner

joy to the world, 1 paper down 3 more to go
go me :D

everybody i love you if you love me

" For me, the most poignant scene in the film occurs when Wigand has lost his home, spouse, and family to the enormous pressure of fighting a huge corporation, and 60 Minutes cuts his interview. When this hotel room scene takes place, he hallucinates a wall-sized painting dissolving into a life-size scene of his beautiful children planting their new garden. All of the love he feels for them and all of the loss he has suffered in his pursuit of exposing the tobacco conspiracy takes over the film and for a few moments transforms its expressive texture. "

clara sometimes chinese songs can say what you really feel , more so than the england ones. lol

ANYWAY I AM SO HAPPY ?
LIFE IS GOOD , LIFE IS GOOD YO

CALL ME ;D

忘    我没有很努力要自己去遗忘
那些和日记一起收藏的过往
孤单在思绪之中变得很漫长 

想    我没有很刻意让自己不去想
那些和照片静止的模样
我学着坚强
坚强到不用学着不想 学着遗忘

还是 害怕夜深人静时总想起你

还是害怕的不经意听见你的消息

然而当爱已经沉淀得太清晰

当拥有已经 是失去 就勇敢的放弃

还是害怕一个人时就很难忘记

还是害怕突然宁愿当初没有决定

然而当爱最后的出口是分离

我会这么相信 走下去

还是 害怕夜深人静时总想起你
还是害怕的不经意听见你的消息
然而当爱已经沉淀得太清晰
当拥有已经 是失去 就勇敢的放弃
还是害怕一个人时就很难忘记
还是害怕突然宁愿当初没有决定
然而当爱最后的出口是分离
我会这么相信 走下去

忘 ,  我没有很努力 让自己去遗忘. . 遗忘. .